somedays you just have to watch them sleep...and listen to them breathe...just to know they will be okay!
...somedays you realize that you wish you could just turn back time to those days when they were so tiny that they fell asleep in your arms and didn't have a care in the world...somedays you just have to watch them sleep just to listen to the tiny little breaths...and hope that the decisions you are making for them will not traumatize them for life!
Tomorrow, our 2.5 year old will be going to the hospital to endure his second endoscopy (albeit by a different doctor) and a colonoscopy...he is just to young to be dealing with all this I keep thinking to myself, and then I realize that if we don't find an answer to what ails him, he will be the kid that's different and like any parent, I don't want him to be the kid that's different...and I wonder where the happy medium is! We have agreed that this will be the last test for a long time, so hopefully there will be some definitive answer as to why our beautiful 2.5 year old son who has graced a billboard in Times Square New York has a bucket for a lovey!
There comes a point where you begin to break as a parent, and I think today might have been that point...you would think that there would be a better way to prepare a child for these procedures than stuff that is too nasty for an adult to stomach. He is an amazing child...I can say that...he lights up a room whenever he walks in (and that's not just the mommy talking) but that doesn't repair the damage done by forcing liquid laxatives down his throat (too much yelling, not enough loving). He had already made it through an entire day with only a liquid diet (popsicles and jello) and then to end it with all the fighting to follow doctor's orders did not allow us to shine as parents.
At least we were able to laugh with him when it was all over as he sat in a bubble bath when we told him that he can hold Mimi's hand and tell her it will be okay as she swallows the last bit of the gallon of nasty in the future! He laughed and gave us big kisses covering us with bubbles... a better end to a terrible hour!
I know he will make it through tomorrow and I am hopeful that we will have answers, so that he will stop throwing up all the time! Until then, thank you for listening (well reading)...sometimes you just have to put it out there to make sure that you are in fact loving them as they need to be loved! Please keep him in your thoughts or prayers since he will be under anesthesia for up to two hours...
7 comments:
Oh poor baby! And poor mama to have to let them do these things to your sweetie. I know it's hard ... doing the right thing. Been there, done that. But, it doesn't make it any easier. You all will be in my thoughts tomorrow.
Kiy
Thank you!
I know when I get migraines so bad that I can't get out of bed the entire day that I just want to know that my friends and family are praying for me and that's how I know I will make it through another one. Please know that I am praying for your little one and I know he will make it through and I hope the Lord gives you the answers you are looking for and that he will have perfect health.
I hope all went well and you get some answers. Poor little guy has gone through so much.
I know exactly what you're writing about! Life just isn't fair sometimes. My oldest son was born with severe Meconium Aspiration Syndrome and spent 3 days on ECMO. He had to take lots and lots of tests and was on heavy medication for years. He just turned 13 and is such a lovely boy, you can't tell he was that ill for the first 3 years of his life. If it wasn't for his scar on his neck we could all pretend it was just a bad dream. But no, it all happened and my son truly is another ECMO Miracle. I hope your son will be ok soon to.
A big hug to your little warrior!
Hello! Just stopping by from the Blog Hop. Now that I've read this, I'm wondering...what was the outcome. Were they able to find out what was wrong? I hope your son is doing better!
Determined he has abdominal migraines...with treatment, he is no longer vomiting when he eats - took about 6 months for the meds to work...at age 4, he really doesn't remember much about these days but still takes daily medicine! Thanks for asking!
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