Eventually you see yourself the way others see you...

...and you realize that you will never truly be happy in your current body....at least that's what has happened for me!  I am starting on a new journey of weight loss, healthy eating, and exercise in hopes of finally weighing less than my husband and being able to keep up with my kids!

I received the most thoughtful gift from my son (he made it at preschool with this note attached about why I was special), but there was one thing that really struck me...in the eyes of my 4-year old, my favorite thing to do was "rest"...I don't ever want him to answer the same question like that again...couldn't it have been working on the computer, gardening...anything but rest?

Next time I want him to say exercising, playing with me, or at least something more active!

I started this process a year ago and never truly took hold of who I was becoming until I saw myself in the pictures we took at Disney World!  I had been behind the camera so long that I was rarely in the pictures.  Today was the first day of the start to a whole new me!

I started my diet through Medi-Weightloss, we planted a garden, and set up training sessions with a personal trainer twice a week.  This time I will succeed and we will be changing habits as a family so it never comes back this time!  Just know that if I don't post for a couple days, its probably because I am exhausted from dieting, exercising, gardening, and trying to prove to my kids that I enjoy more than just resting....because, someday I won't need as much and I'll be able to keep up with them.

Weight has been a struggle for me, but I am determined to eat when I need to, be happy feeling a little hungry...and exercise as much as possible.  This time, I'll try to document my process of Finding Myself because I know that this time I will make it to my goal even if it finally means putting myself first over everything else!  I can now look in the mirror and see myself the way others see me and I'm not happy with it, so I know I will win at it this time...I just know I will win this time!  Fingers and toes crossed that I make it through week one without a snag, then I will be on it for the long stretch of meeting my goal of finally being healthy enough to keep up with two little boys!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays....starting anew...well trying to!

So I took a break from Finding Me Mondays, to really try to figure out how to "find me"...I wasn't really going anywhere...but up on the scale and that isn't what I was hoping for so something just wasn't working....I think this will become more of a monthly update, but we'll see!

We joined a new gym that has a lot of energy and have been pretty good at getting there most days...albeit, not necessarily to work out ourselves, but we can play soccer on the indoor field with the boys or throw a football with them, swim indoors and in the summer outdoors...so really it is changing our overall lifestyle.  I am hoping it's a step in the right direction...I need something!  I won't be making my goal of fitting into the red dress this summer, but I've decided I'm okay with that as long as I am on the path to a healthy lifestyle not just for me, but for the entire family....

It means the house will be messier, we might eat at the gym's cafe more (but at least it's fairly inexpensive and healthy)...and our schedule at work will change to make more time for the boys at night and less days off....but hopefully it will all pay off in the long run!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can make a transition to a healthy lifestyle that pays off for our kids....and at least right now our boys ask to go to the gym every day!  Once our youngest gets past some of the separation anxiety, we'll drop them off in child care some evenings for more gym time...but for now, it's memory-making time!

Oh, and I also downloaded the Couch to 5K app, so we'll see how that works...my plan is to start that next week once the body has adjusted to the time change...hoping that my heart can take the jogging!  I am still tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!  I want them to be proud of me and know that I am healthy and will be there to take care of them!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Some weeks test your strength, wits, and definitely ability to not turn to food!

Sometimes you wonder really how much more you can take in a day or a week, and I'm sure is there is plenty more that could go wrong, but I think for running a fever of 101 still (after multiple days higher), diagnosis of a respiratory infection, fire department responding to your house because every alarm went off continuously for 15 minutes and wouldn't reset (oh, yeah....that was fun!  We had to call, but let me tell you it's never fun spending two hours trying to determine that everything is actually okay, there's just some faulty wiring...so much for buying a new home...ugh!)...dog eating your dinner that night, and the cat barfing on your bed....yeah...it was a day to test my strength since the smoke detectors going off throughout the house truly scared my boys and the pets as evidenced by the dog eating my dinner off the table and the cat barfing on the bed...it was a good night! 

Guessing with being sick, I was too tired to do anything else, so I just went to bed and was actually good about food this past week so no weight gain but with a respiratory infection (and I already have asthma and a heart condition)...well starting more exercise is completely out of the question right now!  I'm happy with no weight gain, but would have been happier with a little loss with all the coughing...you think you'd get some benefit from coughing continuously for hours at a time!  I can say I am definitely looking forward to my spa afternoon at Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine this afternoon (will write more about that soon)....a massage and pedicure is gonna make this girl motivated again!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th/15th - 192 lbs
November 22nd/29th/Dec. 6/13  - 194 lbs

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;a <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">href</SPAN>="http://www.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">twomonkeysawashtub</SPAN>.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank">&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">img</SPAN> <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">src</SPAN>=" http://http://i663.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">photobucket</SPAN>.com/albums/uu359/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">baileypoo</SPAN>/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">findmemondaysTMAW</SPAN>.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">jpg</SPAN>" />&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;/a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Being sick all week takes all motivation away...

Some weeks are definitely easier to stay motivated than others...and some weeks are just plain impossible.  This week was plain impossible..not that I felt like eating, just attempting to start exercising was out of the question.  I came down with a nasty infection of some sort...cold? flu? who knows?  All I know is that by Saturday I was running a 103 degree fever and feeling in the dumps...by Sunday is was down to 99.7 with Dayquil but no energy whatsoever...only other symptom is a slightly runny nose and coughing...but I always get lots of coughing since I have viral-induced asthma.  Ugh!  And with a cough like mine, just walking across the room can set me off into a major fit!  Luckily, I have no out of town travel planned soon but I'm ready to feel better!  There are so many memories to be made this time of year....the tree is up, but has no decorations because I didn't have the energy...a total bummer of a weekend!  The kids miss their mamma and I'm hoping that I'll be better soon and then be able to get my butt into shape and keep up with them like their daddy does!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th/15th - 192 lbs
November 22nd/29th & Dec 6th - 194 lbs
(ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;a <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">href</SPAN>="http://www.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">twomonkeysawashtub</SPAN>.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank">&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">img</SPAN> <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">src</SPAN>=" http://http://i663.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">photobucket</SPAN>.com/albums/uu359/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">baileypoo</SPAN>/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">findmemondaysTMAW</SPAN>.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">jpg</SPAN>" />&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;/a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays....the holidays...the food...ugh!

I love the holidays for time spent with family, the wonderful food and actually taking the time to cook wonderful food....BUT....I always eat too much!  I know it's only one day...but I was stuffed!  I've been good about food the other days, but the scale doesn't seem to care since I'm still at the same weight as last week (guess I should be happy it's not higher)...time to really get focused and start to lose weight.  Stress has been high and that doesn't help I know!  I've had so much going on and having my computer hard drive completely go didn't really help!  At least in the end we didn't lose any files, but it took over three weeks to really figure out what was going on and a week to actually get everything taken apart and set back up...so I was spent!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th/15th - 192 lbs
November 22nd/29th - 194 lbs (not happy about gaining weight, but not totally surprised either)
(ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;a <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">href</SPAN>="http://www.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">twomonkeysawashtub</SPAN>.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank">&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">img</SPAN> <SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">src</SPAN>=" http://http://i663.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">photobucket</SPAN>.com/albums/uu359/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">baileypoo</SPAN>/<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">findmemondaysTMAW</SPAN>.<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">jpg</SPAN>" />&<SPAN class=goog-spellcheck-word style="BACKGROUND: yellow">lt</SPAN>;/a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Mommy, you're too big to go down the slide...

...somedays a child's honesty is almost heartbreaking but it's also can make you realize that it's time to really make a change!  I just wish it wasn't the holidays!  It's so much harder to stay on track and not be tempted during the holidays with all the yummy comfort food and special treats that are really only made one time of year!  This weekend though, may have just changed my mind and renewed my interest in getting into my little red dress (mentioned below)!

I was playing on the new swing set with my boys when I sat down to go down the slide, my oldest (age 4) said, "Mommy, are you sure you'll fit?  You're too big to go down the slide, it's only big enough for Daddy!"  Ugh...and the most you can do is hold back the tears, give them a big hug and say, "Yup, I can fit!" because they just don't understand and then explain that it's just not quite the best choice of words...I just wish it wasn't dark by the time we got home from work...it makes it so much harder because I refuse to have my kids walking outside without sidewalks when it's dark!

We got the Wii Fit and EA sports set up, so now it's just time to use them...but I have to say that the cards are stacked against me this weekend...Logan decided to back into me...if he were a smaller dog, maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much, but when a dog Logan's size backs into your knee...it tends to bend the opposite direction!  No ice needed, but taking it easy until tomorrow...then hopefully!

Gained two pounds this week, so I'm not happy about that either...it's been a week - the computer hard drive is going, so all in all...it's time to go back to bed and start over!  Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th/15th - 192 lbs
November 22nd - 194 lbs (not happy about gaining weight, but not totally surprised either)
(ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays...no changes...

With a broken computer, I keep getting reminded that spending time with my kids is the most important thing I can do at this time in my life!  We had so much fun together this past week with mom's broken computer!  It was a pleasant surprise for them, eventhough it was stressful for us (really my husband as he tried to restore all the files and get it back to working)!

With the time change, it's now dark by the time we get home so outside activities have all but ceased.  The Wii Fit and EA Sports have come out of their boxes but are yet to be set up...hoping to do that this week then maybe I'll be able to make some progress!  I keep lamenting at how I'd be happy at a size 10 right now and figure that's where I should be by now, but it just hasn't happened (not that I've been putting as much effort into it as I had hoped I could when I started this journey)!
Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th/15th - 192 lbs (ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Time to spend more time with family...

I've realized over the past few months that I was spending entirely too much time on the computer and away from my family and also away from me!  I'll still be writing and doing reviews and giveaways, but in order to reach my goals (and I haven't made much headway)...I need to scale back here (well, except for the upcoming Dear Santa event) and focus on me again!

Too much good food in Topeka, KS this week....I know you wouldn't necessarily think so, but if you're there stop in at the Blind Tiger or Brick Oven...yum!  Luckily, I didn't gain weight, but with a horrible internet connection in my hotel room, it did give me a lot of time to think about where I needed to be moving forward (hence, finding me!)!  I've got to devote more time to me...more time to my kids....more time to my husband on top of working full-time!  Don't worry the posts here won't change much, but in my spare time I'll be spending less time online and more time enjoying my boys growing up!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st/8th - 192 lbs (ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: No big changes, but...

...I'm just happy I haven't gained weight over the past week!  With two sick kids, Halloween candy at the house, and lack of sleep (which is normally a motivator for me to consume too many calories in sugared sodas, candy and all things unhealthy)....I won't complain at a lack of change!  At the end of the weekend, I'm still exhausted and normally that's my time to feel refreshed and ready for the week ahead so this might be a long week!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/25th & November 1st - 192 lbs (ready to gain control and lose weight - ugh and the holidays are now upon us too!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else! We could all use some support! I'd love to hear your stories!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays...Not a lot of weight changes, but plenty of gains!

When it comes to weight loss, I have decided that sometimes it's not the numbers on the scale that tell the whole story, but the size that you purchase in your favorite store on your favorite cut of pants that truly matters!  I may not be in a size 12 in every pair of pants, but in Ann Taylor LOFT Julie pants, I am now officially in a size 12 and they aren't like suck it in tight, they actually fit!  I bought these pants to wear to Bloggy Bootcamp in Austin this past Saturday and ran into a few women I hadn't seen in a few months that actually read this post (at least every once in awhile)!  They actually noticed the changes in me...so even if it's only 10 pounds or so, it is really making a difference in how I present myself and dress myself (at least I'm starting to think so)!  Yea!  Okay, so I still have a long way to go, but after a full week of travel, Bloggy Bootcamp, and finally back at home, I'm just happy I haven't gained weight over the past week!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th/October 25th - 192 lbs (totally okay with being up from the 11th, but ready to gain control!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays...one pound heavier but finally feeling ready to take control!

For the first time when I visited my cardiologist, I was commended for losing weight without being able to exercise!  Yeah!  I guess that means that I am doing something right, and for the first time he acknowledged that being the villain in a game of superheroes in the front yard with a 2 & a 4 year-old is exercise in the life of a full-time working mom!  The temperatures are finally getting cooler, so once we replace the tubes in the tires of the kids' bike trailer and I get the clearance from my surgeon next week it will time for nightly bike rides!  I can't wait!

Although I am up a pound this week on the scale, I'm happy with that...I didn't eat that well this week because I was finally able to eat whatever I wanted without feeling terribly sick and it's been so long since I could do that....that's not to say that my stomach still didn't hurt on occassion, but I wasn't stomach cramping sick after eating this week so a few indulgences were in order!  It was only fair after so many weeks of bland food that for two weeks nearly consisted of only crackers and gatorade before and after surgery!  This week I am back to paying attention to what I eat...I have to if I want to meet my goals next summer (which seems to be getting here rather quickly)!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

October 11th - 191 lbs
October 18th - 192 lbs (one pound up and totally okay with that!)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays...finally able to eat again!

So I'm still in the recovery mode but am definitely feeling much better following gallbladder surgery!  It's still a little touch and go when it comes to food but I am definitely able to eat again just still figuring out what foods bother me!  I have been amazed how many people that I've talked to have had theirs removed too...there is always a little bonding with those that are missing an organ I guess!  I don't know if that is such a great thing, but at least I haven't gained weight!  I haven't lost weight either, but can't lift anything over 15 pounds for two and a half more weeks and my heart has been bothering me so I'm okay with just holding steady this week!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

Today &  October 4th - 191 lbs and I can honestly say that my Size 14 jeans are starting to fit looser although I can't button the top button due to healing sutures from surgery!  Buttoning isn't an issue over sutures anymore but I am happy that my jeans are loose enough to pull down around my hips so they don't bother the sutures all day!

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation!  I get tired of being the one behind the camera every time and am ready to be the one in front of the camera (smiling) more often!  I don't want my kids to wonder what I looked like when they were young!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: As far as losing weight goes...

...maybe having my gallbladder out wasn't such a bad thing!  My body is still adjusting to life without my gallbladder and I am in no way telling anyone to request that their gallbladder be removed (just wanted to put that upfront - because really it does appear to be life-altering even if we don't really need it to survive)! 

This week has been a battle of ups and downs three weeks post surgery and I am still recovering, definitely!  I went home from work sick one day and went to bed by 6:30PM that night because I felt so sick...other than that, it was a week of adjustments to life without a gallbladder and at least for me that meant self-regulating what I ate and really thinking about what I consumed!  Foods with too much sugar meant I was sick, foods that were high in fat meant I was sick, and foods that were spicy meant I was sick so that pretty much outlawed all my favorite foods and left me munching on crackers most of the week!

Okay, so that's not how I want to live life, but I'll look at the positive side of things!  I am 3lbs closer to my goal weight and I still can't exercise much due to me heart and no lifting anything greater than 15lbs for another three weeks from surgery!  Being kind of stuck in a do nothing rut...I'm happy with 3lbs...who wouldn't be?!  So where do I stand this week?

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))

Last weigh-in: September 13th/September 26th - 194lbs, Size 14

Today:  October 4th - 191 lbs and I can honestly say that my Size 14 jeans are starting to fit looser although I can't button the top button due to healing sutures from surgery

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week I couldn't do much more than hang out at the computer and slowly walk outside to watch the kids play!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Still recovering from surgery but the swelling is going down...yeah!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Little victories when recovering from gall bladder surgery...It's a great thing to know that the swelling is going down somewhat more now (two weeks after surgery).  I am guessing it would have been much better earlier last week, but my youngest son lost his balance and landed right where my gallbladder had once been....and slammed a metal car into an incision area...so I am happy to say that it was just an ouch and not an ER visit and I can't ask for more than that!

I am starting to feel better although I am still really tired in the morning, feel disconnected at times due to little pain bursts, and the evenings are the worst when it comes to swelling and pain...something I guess I didn't expect.  Overall though, I'm happy that my weight has stayed about the same as just prior to surgery when I had lost weight due to being unable to eat and can't wait until I can get on my bike and take the kids for a ride!  It is finally starting to feel like fall in North Texas so it should be easy to get outside and get moving!

Since the list was getting long, I'm going to start posting a link to the long list and just include the previous week and this week's weigh-in every Monday!  (Long list June 21st (203.5 lbs) - September 13th (194 lbs))
Last weigh-in: September 13th - 194lbs, Size 14
Today (September, 26th - 194 lbs and I can honestly say that my Size 14 jeans are starting to fit looser although I can't button the top button due to healing sutures from surgery)

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week I couldn't do much more than hang out at the computer and slowly walk outside to watch the kids play!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays...not much to talk about - still recovering from surgery!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

As I mentioned over the last couple of weeks, I wasn't feeling too great!  Well last week,  I had my gall bladder removed!  I am still sore, swollen, on pain killers, and not 100%, so not posting much this week in regards to weight loss or goals for next week!  I figure I have to get to the point of being able to lift my kids again and sleep on anything but my back (since I've never been a back sleeper) before I can think about weight loss!

As I've said every week though, regardless of my current weight  and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week I couldn't do much more than hang out at the computer and slowly walk outside to watch the kids play!
Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: No changes...ready to start feeling better so I can once again take control!

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Some weeks you lose weight when you aren't trying so I hope it doesn't come back! Without going into all the details, this week has been a little rough and I've lost weight because of it! Not being able to eat much more than crackers kind of does that to you and I'm definitely ready to start feeling better, but at least the weight loss is a benefit of not feeling great for at least the time being!  Early in the week, we spent a lot of time outside working on the yard and playing with the kids!  It was a lot of fun and with the lower temps, my heart was feeling much better!
Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th: 196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)
Monday, August 23rd: 196 lbs, Size 14 (no change and bummed but not surprised)
Monday, August 30th:  196 lbs, Size 14 (no change - excited that it stayed the same)
Monday, September 6th: 193.5 lbs, Size 14 (barely able to eat due to illness but I'll take any weight loss!!)
Monday, September 13th:  194 lbs, Size 14 (not much of a change from last week, still unable to eat much - ready for the doctor's to figure it out!)

Not much of a change from last week, still not feeling well enough to eat much of anything!  Hoping it's all better by next week so that I can get out and move around a little more with my kids!  The temperature is finally starting to drop below 100 degrees in the evenings, so we should be able to get out for some bike rides and family walks this week (assuming I start feeling better)! I can't wait! I've also got healthy meals planned for dinner each night and the kids are excited too! My 4-year old has been donning his apron each night to help mommy cook!

Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week I didn't feel like doing much of anything that I had planned last week!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Some weeks are easier to lose weight but for the wrong reasons...

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

Some weeks you lose weight when you aren't trying so I hope it doesn't come back! Without going into all the details, this week has been a little rough and I've lost weight because of it! Not being able to eat much more than crackers kind of does that to you and I'm definitely ready to start feeling better, but at least the weight loss is a benefit of not feeling great for at least the time being!  Early in the week, we spent a lot of time outside working on the yard and playing with the kids!  It was a lot of fun and with the lower temps, my heart was feeling much better!
Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th: 196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)
Monday, August 23rd: 196 lbs, Size 14 (no change and bummed but not surprised)
Monday, August 30th:  196 lbs, Size 14 (no change - excited that it stayed the same)
Monday, September 6th: 193.5 lbs, Size 14 (only dropped because from Wednesday night on I was barely able to eat but I'll take any weight loss!!)

The temperature is finally starting to drop below 100 degrees in the evenings, so we should be able to get out for some bike rides and family walks this week (assuming I start feeling better)! I can't wait! I've also got healthy meals planned for dinner each night and the kids are excited too! My 4-year old has been donning his apron each night to help mommy cook!

Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week I didn't feel like doing much of anything that I had planned last week!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Ready to find my motivation again...and HeartWalk 2010

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

My oldest is back in preschool again this week, although that really doesn't impact my schedule much since I work full-time but maybe I can use that as an excuse to find my motivation again! I've been in kind of a lull, but I only have until September 11th to prep for a 5K walk for the American Heart Association so it's time I found some motivation!

I'd love it if you felt like donating to the American Heart Association as part of HeartWalk 2010 (minimum online donation is $25 but your tax-deductible donation goes directly to AHA)! You can find out more by visiting my page on the Tarrant County Heart Walk here! And if you live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and you would love to come and join me on Saturday the 11th, send me an email and let me know! I'd love to invite you to join my team! Hey it's in Sundance Square in the morning and it's only a 5K WALK!

Okay, so where do I stand this week? My hubbie was out of town, the kids were stressing me out because they missed daddy, and well I was exhausted most of the week because I just don't sleep as well when he's gone! My hubbie did mention that I talked a lot in my sleep the first night so I really must have been exhausted! I didn't eat very well mainly because food at lunchtime is not settling well. I am working up the courage to go and see my GI doctor again, but I am not looking forward to more tests so I continue to postpone since I assume it's new meds causing the food sensitivities. Unfortunately its sensitivites to anything fresh and not in the carbohydrate family!

Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th: 196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)
Monday, August 23rd: 196 lbs, Size 14 (no change and bummed but not surprised)
Monday, August 30th:  196 lbs, Size 14 (no change - excited that it stayed the same)

The temperature is finally starting to drop below 100 degrees in the evenings, so we should be able to get out for some bike rides and family walks this week!  I can't wait!  I've also got healthy meals planned for dinner each night and the kids are excited too!

Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week, life, stress and too many snacks took over!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...

Finding Me Mondays: Learning what makes me happy is going to be a long road...

<a href="http://www.twomonkeysawashtub.com/search/label/Finding%20Fe" target="_blank"><img src=" http://http://i663.photobucket.com/albums/uu359/baileypoo/findmemondaysTMAW.jpg" /></a>

I haven't taken pictures because I don't want to look at them and truly accept where I am starting! Although I watched what I ate, I realized that I really hate that prescription medication can make you unable to eat certain foods...I wish it made it impossible to consume ice cream and chocolate, but no for me it's tomatoes...and you know how many foods have tomatoes in them! I have also learned that I get really tired of eating the same things everyday and it's hard to find variety in a diet that seems to consist of lean proteins and carbs but still low in calories and fats. I am trying to accept the fact that weight loss will be extremely slow and can't wait until it cools down a little so I can get back out on my bike and take the kids for a spin around the neighborhood!
Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th: 196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)
Monday, August 23rd: 196 lbs, Size 14 (no change and bummed but not surprised)

In trying to accept the fact that learning what makes me happy will be a long and arduous road, I am also trying to accept the fact that I will likely never cross running a marathon off an imaginary bucket list and re-prioritizing any similar activities. As I jokingly said to a friend last week...you train for a 5k, I train to walk a 5k now...it's a totally different mindset and one that I don't accept well and can't wait for cooler temps because cycling doesn't seem to bother my heart as much!

My thoughts from last week are the same:
My heart has been bothering me in the record heat we have been having, so even gentle walks have been hard.  With temperatures over 100, it can be hard to walk much of a distance without feeling tired, not winded, but truly tired.  As I've said before, I'm ready for that to change...I get even more depressed when everyone around me talks about going to the gym and working out and I simply can't...most people don't understand when I talk to them though because I don't have heart disease, I haven't had a heart attack, my heart just likes to beat really, really fast and there isn't much the doctors can do to slow it down so it makes me tired.


Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week, life, stress and too many snacks took over!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!

Read more...