Monday, August 23, 2010

Finding Me Mondays: Learning what makes me happy is going to be a long road...


I haven't taken pictures because I don't want to look at them and truly accept where I am starting! Although I watched what I ate, I realized that I really hate that prescription medication can make you unable to eat certain foods...I wish it made it impossible to consume ice cream and chocolate, but no for me it's tomatoes...and you know how many foods have tomatoes in them! I have also learned that I get really tired of eating the same things everyday and it's hard to find variety in a diet that seems to consist of lean proteins and carbs but still low in calories and fats. I am trying to accept the fact that weight loss will be extremely slow and can't wait until it cools down a little so I can get back out on my bike and take the kids for a spin around the neighborhood!
Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th: 196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)
Monday, August 23rd: 196 lbs, Size 14 (no change and bummed but not surprised)

In trying to accept the fact that learning what makes me happy will be a long and arduous road, I am also trying to accept the fact that I will likely never cross running a marathon off an imaginary bucket list and re-prioritizing any similar activities. As I jokingly said to a friend last week...you train for a 5k, I train to walk a 5k now...it's a totally different mindset and one that I don't accept well and can't wait for cooler temps because cycling doesn't seem to bother my heart as much!

My thoughts from last week are the same:
My heart has been bothering me in the record heat we have been having, so even gentle walks have been hard.  With temperatures over 100, it can be hard to walk much of a distance without feeling tired, not winded, but truly tired.  As I've said before, I'm ready for that to change...I get even more depressed when everyone around me talks about going to the gym and working out and I simply can't...most people don't understand when I talk to them though because I don't have heart disease, I haven't had a heart attack, my heart just likes to beat really, really fast and there isn't much the doctors can do to slow it down so it makes me tired.


Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week, life, stress and too many snacks took over!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!



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4 comments:

Weezer Monday, August 23, 2010 at 11:18:00 AM CDT  

Oh, honey. I can so sympathize. I have hundreds and hundreds of photos and I'm not in a single one. I always say that I'd rather TAKE the photos and one of these days they'll remember a thinner me. Retirement hasn't been kind to this 'once was thin' redhead.
Just hang in there.
Surely you'll reach goal.
Weezer

Katerina Monday, August 23, 2010 at 1:07:00 PM CDT  

Just don't get disappointed. If you are focused be sure that you will reach your goal and let me tell you because I've been there, once you arrive there you will feel like a goddess. Hang in there.

katy Monday, August 23, 2010 at 8:44:00 PM CDT  

Take it slow. You are not like anyone else. Don't compare yourself to anyone. You can do it!

supremevision Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 10:46:00 PM CDT  

I applaud you on your journey!!! You have done fabulously so far and your goal will be reached!! I am on a similar journey and what keeps me focused and motivated is saying my daily mantra--just a little something I say in the mirror to myself before my workout (which is only walking right now). It makes me feel good and no matter the weight loss each week, I feel that I have done my best and it is good enough. Even though I have just become acquainted with you, I have faith in you!! You can do it!! (I also peeped at your other post with the red dress and the nightie--very great motivators!! I may have to do the same)Keep up the good work!!

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I'm a wife and working mom of two beautiful young boys! I am lucky enough to have my mom watch the boys while I work so I can be a mom and have a career!

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