Finding Me Mondays: Eating candy while typing can't be the way to losing weight...

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I haven't taken pictures because I don't want to look at them and truly accept where I am starting! This week was pretty rough when it comes to self-control and eating the right things. I did pretty well at breakfast considering I was on travel for work yet again and stayed with a standard breakfast of cereal and yogurt or a bagel and yogurt and a cup of coffee, but snacks were plentiful in my training class and that just wasn't what I needed! I didn't go out to lunch, but likely consumed the same or similar calories in tootsie rolls (my one major weakness) and crackers which is likely why I didn't gain weight. I ate pretty healthy at dinner choosing salads with dressing on the side and ordering water when I could! Guessing you can tell I hate pictures of myself! I am working up the courage so I can include that here too! (It's only fair to myself to stay motivated)

Monday, June 21st: 203.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, June 28th: 200.0 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 5th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 12th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, July 19th: No scale available, Size 14
Monday, July 26th: 198.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 2nd: 197 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 9th: 196.5 lbs, Size 14
Monday, August 16th:  196 lbs, Size 14 (at least it's down 0.5 lbs)

I look at the numbers above and get depressed that in two months of trying, I am down less than 10 pounds (and really no change since the 4th of July)...okay for the most part trying and realizing that losing weight with a family in tow is much harder than it appears on the surface.  The stress of working full time, traveling for work, and having two young children really forces me to lean towards my stress relievers of shopping or food and since we are trying to stay debt free, that really pushes me to food so I don't add another layer of stress.  As I said, I sit here typing while I eat a piece of candy, not because I'm hungry but because it's available and it's a quick way to satisfy the stressors!

My heart has been bothering me in the record heat we have been having, so even gentle walks have been hard.  With temperatures over 100, it can be hard to walk much of a distance without feeling tired, not winded, but truly tired.  As I've said before, I'm ready for that to change...I get even more depressed when everyone around me talks about going to the gym and working out and I simply can't...most people don't understand when I talk to them though because I don't have heart disease, I haven't had a heart attack, my heart just likes to beat really, really fast and there isn't much the doctors can do to slow it down so it makes me tired.

Regardless of my current weight, my heart, and how I feel right now, I am still hoping that by next June, I will still be able to reach my goal of being able to keep up with my kids and husband and wear the red dress that hangs prominently in my closest (it blocks all my pants) so I have to look at it every day....it will continue to be my motivation - even if this week, life, stress and too many snacks took over!

Join me in the journey of finding yourself, whether it's weight loss or something else by linking up below! We could all use some support!